Thinking of new ways to kill you
and bring you back from the dead,
I try drowning you in the lily pond –
holding your head down
until every bubble of breath
is squeezed from your lungs
and the flat leaves and spiky flowers
float over you like a wreath.
I sit on the stones until I am numb,
until, among reflections of sky,
water-buttercups, spears of iris,
your face rises to the surface –
a face that was always so puffy
and pale, so curiously unchanged.
A wind rocks the waxy flowers, curls
the edges of the leaves. Blue dragonflies
appear and vanish like ghosts.
I part the mats of yellow weed
and drag you to the bank, covering
your green algae-stained corpse
with a white sheet. Then, I lift the edge
and climb in underneath –
thumping your chest,
breathing into your mouth.